Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
