Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Ladies don't puke and tell
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