There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
