Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
