I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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