my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
