i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
The air taste purple.
Randomize
