According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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