And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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