where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
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