youre lurking in front of me
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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