No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Randomize