I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
