So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
