Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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