that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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