If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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