don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
