You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize