walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
