Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
whose parrot is this?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
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