my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
