OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
