The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
you win again, gameday.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Randomize
