That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
