Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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