sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
