M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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