Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
