O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize