theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
