I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
