If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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