went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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