No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
