I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Randomize