I take back everything I said about communal showers
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
