Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
