i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
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