you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
