Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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