So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
