ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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