i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
