Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
