You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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