it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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