She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
