I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
