He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
