I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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