Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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