I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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