I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
