Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
