Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
