i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
