im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
