you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Enjoy the penises
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
