hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
