This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Text me some of your sweat
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize