I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize
