Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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